This is not a love letter to you, but a way of informing you of my love for several others.
I love you, but you are not the only person I am in love with, I find it impossible to be exclusively invested in you because that excludes the possibility of me ever being able to fall in love with the remaining fraction of the seven billion people I shall chance to meet.
I fall in love with at least three people every time I leave the comforts of my home and go out into the world.
This leaves me drained, for I fall in love with strangers I may never meet again; I fall in love with little details I have observed from momentous glances their way, and then they leave. They leave, and I am left with a hollow instead; an insignificant one, but a hollow nonetheless.
The knowledge that there will never be another person I encounter that shall possess the same, precise qualities as them leaves my heart aching, every night is a battle for closure. Every night I must fall out of love with people I do not know.
It is tiring.
I was sat across from a man, having a more pleasant conversation with him than I had with anyone in a while. He asked me how I took my coffee and when he did, he gave me an innocent, coy smile, his eyes looked into mine with a warm intensity. I fell in love with that look in his eyes and it is forever etched into my heart.
I watched a lady reading in the park. She had earphones plugged into her ears, I believe she was listening to jazz melodies, and she had a faint smile on her lips but I saw her eyes brimming with tears that she lightly brushed off with the back of her hand. She was surrounded by the stunning colors of autumn, and yet, they were not as breathtaking as she was.
A gentleman came up to me on the street, he asked me if I could direct him to a restaurant. He wore a black suit with a bowtie, his hair were a stark contrast to his formal outfit, highlighted by the streetlight, as he shyly run his hands through them; his cheeks flushed as he confessed that he was going to ask his childhood sweetheart to marry him after dinner that night. His twinkling doe eyes, colored cheeks and unkempt hair will be a picture that will always make my heart leap with joy.
They each made me fall in love, and for a few, intense moments, I forgot that I loved any other. And I miss them immensely, painfully.
I thus find myself unable to be loyally committed to you. There are far too many qualities that I love in a thousand individuals, which you lack. You are not those thousand individuals. You are your own, you are the one that I fall in love with a different way every day, but you are not the only one I fall in love with every day.
The reason I am writing this to you is because I cannot write to them; I cannot tell them, but I realize I must tell you, you deserve to know.
I love you.
But it is not only you that I love.